


My New Leather Jacket

by Tanaletheia



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Barter System, Bartering, Bat Family, Batfam bingo 2019, Batfamily Shenanigans, Crack, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 06:39:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18330644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tanaletheia/pseuds/Tanaletheia
Summary: Jason glanced up for a second, saw Steph walking towards him, he marked his page and put the book down. "What is it, Blondie?"Steph stopped in her tracks, crossed her arms and cocked her hip. "Why does everyone assume I want something today?""Don't you?" Jason asked raising an eyebrow.-or: Trading favors is damn exhausting.





	My New Leather Jacket

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
> I'm taking part in Batfam Bingo 2019. This fic is for "Trade".  
> It's probably as ridiculous as the rest of my writing so at least some of you should know what to expect ;)

The morning breeze waved the sunlit curtains into the apartment, the girl's blonde hair shining golden in the warm light. Stephanie Brown was still asleep, clutching her pillow in a choke hold and mumbling about bringing justice to the city.

_Beep beep beep_

Stephanie raised her arm and let it fall down on the alarm clock. Her eyes cracked open to the sight of her phone blinking with notifications. Like every member of the extended Batfamily Steph had set up Google Alerts for every mention of the Waynes, but if anything important had happened, she would have gotten a call from someone, so she ignored her phone for now. Steph went to her kitchen, poured a cup of coffee and got the frozen waffles out. When she was settled on the counter, clutching her coffee and waiting for the toaster to pop her waffle out, Steph deigned to look at the notification. Her blue eyes widened significantly. "I need that."

 

-

 

"Pretty please?"

Tim finally turned away from the Batcomputer and the case he was working on. He was looking at Steph with a confused expression, she would have preferred resigned, because in that case Tim would have given her what she wanted.

"You want my leather jacket," Tim clarified.

"Yes. Have you seen the picture with the article?" Steph shoved her phone in his face again. The headline **_Tim Drake - CEO or bad boy?_** stood out in bold letters above a picture of Tim walking out of a cafe in a black vintage leather jacket with studded lapels. "This jacket would look amazing on me."

Tim pushed the phone away. "So get your own?"

Stephanie slowly shook her head. "Tim. Brilliant, ignorant, sweet, sweet summer child. That jacket costs three grand."

"So you want me to buy you one?" Tim cocked his head.

Steph rolled her eyes. Tim just didn't get it. "No. That's too much to mooch off of you. I want the one you already have."

Tim bristled. "That doesn't even make sense."

Steph shrugged. "I'll give you something you want in return. We barter. It's tradition."

"You don't have anything I want."

"But I could get something you want." Steph grabbed Tim's hands. "Anything you want."

Tim was silent for a minute. Thinking. Contemplating. A smirk grew on his face and Steph's heart sank. That couldn't be good for her but she really wanted that jacket. She couldn't let her desperation show on her face.

"There is one thing you could get me." Tim was a smug bastard and the media should call him neither CEO nor bad boy, just bastard. "Well, you could get it _back_ for me."

Steph forced herself not to let her grin dim. "No problem. What did you lose?"

Tim turned back to the Batcomputer. "I didn't lose anything. Damian took it."

Steph rolled her eyes behind Tim's back. "What did Damian _take_?"

"My blackmail file on the Titans."

"Your blackmail file on the Titans," Steph repeated. She wanted to be sceptical but she couldn't. It was kind of expected for Tim to have blackmail material on his friends and for Damian to steal it.

Tim didn't look up from his case again. "Yes. If you get it back for me, you can have the jacket."

His crappy dismissals were part of why Steph was glad they were only friends now. That wasn't what she should think about right now. She had a mission. Tim was so sure she would fail that he traded her his leather jacket anyway. The joke was on him. With decisive steps Steph strode out of the cave in search of Damian.

 

-

 

Stephanie found Damian playing with Titus in the gardens. Alfred the cat was curled up on a nearby stone bench watching the boy and his dog play fetch, or as Damian would say _preparing for battle_.

Stephanie walked towards the boy smiling brightly. "Good morning Damian!"

Damian turned towards her, a calculating look on his face. "What do you want, Brown?"

Steph came to a stop in front of Damian. She pouted at him. "Why do you think I want something?"

The nerve on that kid. He looked at her as if she was stupid. Admittedly, he looked at her - and almost everyone else - like that all the time, but still. Rude. "Tt. You didn't use one of those ridiculous nicknames you insist on calling me."

Damn. She should have thought of that. Titus trotted up to them. Steph crouched down and started petting him, she might be buying time to rethink her strategy, but Steph also just really liked dogs. "I'm going to do something for you."

Damian raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms. "And what would that be?"

At least he was curious, she was off to a good start. Steph scratched Titus behind the ears, the dog's tongue lolling out. It was a diversion tactic that usually worked on Damian. He was always distracted when someone touched Titus, checking the dog was alright. "What do you want? I can do something for you or get something you can't."

"Why would you do that, Brown?"

Steph bit her lip. "Because I need you to return Tim's blackmail file."

"No."

Steph took Titus head in both her hands and held it next to her face as she turned to face Damian with a pout. "Aww, come on, Dami. How can you say 'no' to this face?"

"Easy," Damian sneered. "No."

Steph's expression became serious again. She let herself fall to sit on the ground, all to make Damian think he was in control. There were multiple master manipulators in this family and Steph was one of them, whether the others saw that or not. "There has to be something you want more than blackmail material on the Titans."

Damian shook his head, his gaze shifted away from Steph. "This is not about what _I_ want; it is about what Drake wants."

"Just imagine I'm your Secret Santa and if you're a good boy you'll get whatever you want," Steph grinned.

Damian's eyebrows furrowed. "What the hell is a 'Secret Santa'?"

Steph's face went slack. "You don't- You know what? Not the time. I'm your Fairy Godmother and in return for the file I'll grant you one wish." She held up one finger, wiggling it slightly to shift Damian's focus on her instead of Titus.

"I-" Damian bit his lip, chewed for a second, he sucked in a breath and let it out with a rush of words. "Jason stole my dagger and I want it back."

"Hallelujah!" Steph threw her hands in the air and let herself fall back on the grass. Everybody wants something, you just had to find out what it is. But why did these boys keep stealing each other's stuff, what the heck was wrong with this family?

 

-

 

Stephanie inched open the library door and peered around the corner. The scent of old books assaulted her senses. Jason was lounging in a big fluffy chair rereading Shakespeare. Steph closed the door again, took a deep breath and opened the door completely this time.

Jason glanced up for a second, saw Steph walking towards him, he marked his page and put the book down. "What is it, Blondie?"

Steph stopped in her tracks, crossed her arms and cocked her hip. "Why does everyone assume I want something today?"

"Don't you?" Jason asked raising an eyebrow.

Steph could commit to a staring contest but Jason was as stubborn as she was and she wanted to get this over with, plus, he was actually right, so. "Fine. I do."

Jason nodded. The smug bastard. "So let me repeat: What is it?"

Steph sat on the chair opposite Jason. "Can you return Baby Bat's dagger?"

"I would if I could," Jason said. He leaned back in his chair, rested his chin on his hand. "But I need it. And it's not his anyway."

"Then whose is it?"

"Talia's."

"You gave it to Talia?!" Steph shrieked and recoiled.

Jason shook his head. "Not yet."

"Wait." Steph thought back on what exactly Jason had said. "Why did you say 'you need it'?"

Jason leaned forward in his seat as if to tell a secret. He was grinning. "I'm trading Talia her dagger for the little Demon's baby pics."

Steph frowned. "You want Dami's baby pics?" Not exactly what she would have demanded from a powerful assassin, but to each their own.

"Nah, gonna trade B to get out of Sunday Dinner."

"Nooooo," Steph whined. How dare he set up such an easy trade while Steph was just beginning her impossible quests?

Jason knit his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side. Maybe she should explain that reaction, maybe she should just find out where the dagger is and sneak it back before he has a chance to hand it over. Who was she kidding Jason would never let her get away with that. And then he would steal the dagger again and pin it on her. Than Damian would take back the blackmail file and Tim would take back the jacket, which could not be allowed to happen.

Steph crossed her arms and spoke with confidence. "I promised Dami to trade his dagger for Tim's blackmail file."

"Though luck," Jason drawled. He glanced around the room looking for any wayward siblings that might overhear, leaned forward and whispered. "B threatened to bring me back to life. _Legally_."

Steph gasped, leaning forward, too. "He didn't."

Jason nodded. "He did." He leaned back again. "I need something valuable to change his mind."

Steph sat back in contemplation, that plot twist totally screwed up her plans. She tapped her fingers on the armrest. "Why do you need to get out of Sunday Dinner anyway?"

Jason shrugged. "There's a concert in Metropolis that evening."

Stephanie bit her lip. "If I find another way to get you out of Sunday Dinner, will you give Baby Bat his pointy stick back?"

"Sure." Jason grinned. "If you wanna try, be my guest."

" _Do or do not. There is no try._ " Steph stood up from her seat and stretched. She pointed a finger in Jason's face. "And you take me to the concert."

Jason laughed and picked up his book. "We'll see."

Three down, however many to go.

 

-

 

The study was quiet except for the occasional shifting of paper that could be heard through the door. You would think that a room that held the secret entrance to the Batcave would be soundproof, but no, Steph could hear everything just fine.

"Are you going to come in or just keep staring at the door?"

Steph startled. Maybe that was the reason the door wasn't soundproof. Better for spying on your own household. Steph went into the room and planted herself on the chair in front of Bruce's desk. Bruce was leaning back in his chair, his hands placed on the armrests. The documents littering the desk lay still, a mosaic of text.

Steph plastered on a grin. "B-man. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, Stephanie. Thank you," Bruce stated dryly. Apparently he wasn't going to make this easy for her.

Steph cleared her throat. "So, B... big Sunday Dinner on Sunday."

"That's what the name implies. Yes." Bruce raised an eyebrow and Steph could have sworn he channelled his Batman persona so he wouldn't smirk.

She swallowed her instinctual snappy comeback. "And I hear attendance is mandatory?"

"Yes, it is." Bruce still wasn't budging.

Steph deflated. She would not win this anytime soon and she needed to get it done before Jason gave the dagger to Talia. "Is there any way I can get Jason out of that?"

"No."

"I'll do _anything_." Apparently begging was not beneath her today. Time sensitive events sucked.

"There is nothing you can do," Bruce said shaking his head. He met Stephanie's stare with one of his own. Steph pouted and crossed her arms. Bruce raised an eyebrow. Steph uncrossed her arms, letting her hands hit the seat cushion next to her legs.

" _Please_."

Bruce crossed his arms, looked to the side and muttered under his breath. "If I have to go, he has to go."

Steph blinked a few times. Did she hear that right? "... You want out of Sunday Dinner."

Bruce pursed his lips and kept avoiding her gaze.

"It's your house, you're an adult. You don't have to go to dinner if you don't want to."

Bruce glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, raising his eyebrows. He looked at her with pity. Like she was missing something obvious. Something blatantly-

"Right." Steph face palmed. "Alfred."

Bruce only nodded as answer, still avoiding direct eye contact.

Steph grinned, put her elbows in Bruce's desk, leaning her head on her hands. "Why _do_ you want out of Sunday Dinner?"

Bruce chewed his lower lip, heaved a sigh. "There's this concert in Metropolis...."

 _Don't laugh, don't laugh, don'tlaughdon'tlaughdon'tlaugh_. Stephanie bit her lip, turning her face away from Bruce. She shook with repressed laughter. If Steph could get Jason and Bruce out of dinner she would have to make sure they "accidentally" ran into each other in Metropolis. The horror on Jason's face when he realises he has the same taste in music as his father would be priceless. She nodded, got up and walked towards the door. Before she closed it she turned back to Bruce with a confident grin. "I'll just get both of you out of dinner."

 

-

 

Alfred was preparing lunch when Steph entered the kitchen. She went to the sink, washed her hands and started helping to prepare sandwiches.

Alfred glanced up at her. "While I am grateful, Miss Stephanie, I feel that I have to ask; is there a reason you decided to help me out today?"

"I wanted to talk to you and I'd feel useless just standing around," Steph said without looking up from her task.

They worked in silence for a few minutes. Alfred plated the sandwiches and went to the sink to wash his hands. He turned back to Steph. "So, why did you need to talk to me?"

Steph chewed her lip. "Can you move Sunday Dinner to Saturday?"

Alfred quirked the corner of his mouth subtly. "Then it wouldn't be Sunday Dinner."

"But Bruce and Jason could go to that concert in Metropolis," Steph explained.

Alfred raised his eyebrows and returned to the counter. "They plan to attend a concert? Together?" He picked up the platter to put the sandwiches in the fridge.

Steph shook her head. "No, that's the beauty. Neither knows the other wants to go. And I _really_ want to see that."

"While I agree that this would be amusing, I stand by my day of choice for family dinner." Alfred closed the fridge, turning back to Steph. "We always have dinner on Sunday. Everyone plans to attend on Sunday."

"Except they didn't," Steph said. She looked pleading at Alfred. "And I'll do anything you want if we can move dinner just this once."

Alfred shook his head. "I assure you, I am quite self-sufficient and do not require assistance, Miss Stephanie."

"But there has to be something you want done that you refuse to do," Stephanie whined.

Alfred pursed his lips. He seemed to think and shake his head subtly again. "It would set precedence," he mumbled partly to himself.

 _Bingo._ Stephanie leaned forward, whispering, trying to keep a conversation in a house full of Bats private. It wouldn't last long but pretences were reassuring sometimes. "I won't tell anyone."

Alfred looked at her, considering. "I suppose... you could-" he shook his head. "No. That wouldn't be-"

"Please!!! Alfred. For me?"

Alfred actually looked uncomfortable. "There is this... box."

"A box," Steph repeated. She took a step towards Alfred who still stood beside the fridge. "What kind of box?"

Alfred crossed his arms and huffed. Steph had never seen him cross his arms before. At least she couldn't remember. It seemed so out of character for the stoic man. "The kind Master Dick packed to take to his own apartment and then abandoned in the foyer."

For once, an easy task. Steph brightened, waving any concerns away with a hand gesture. "Sure thing, I'll take it to his place."

"No." Alfred shook his head decisively. "He needs to get it himself."

Bye bye, easy. "Why?!" Stephanie asked exasperated. Why couldn't anyone in this house have a _simple_ request? A nice simple request she could do by herself that didn't require cooperation from another person.

"It's about responsibilities. He wanted the box, he should get it himself."

Stephanie heaved a deep sigh, deflated. "I'll make him come here and get the box today."

"He's in the gym," Alfred said turning towards the stove to start the soup.

"He's _here_?" Steph asked incredulously. "Then why don't you ask him to-" She shook her head. "You know what? Doesn't matter." She walked towards the door, apparently she would need to go and find Dick next. Was all this really worth one leather jacket? She could maybe get a cheap replica. Hang out with Tim wearing partner look. Her in the inferior jacket- Yes. Getting that jacket was worth all this. Just as she closed the kitchen door behind her Alfred called behind her.

"Lunch is in half an hour."

 

-

 

The gym in Wayne Manor was originally one of the ballrooms that had been repurposed when little Dick Grayson first came to live with Bruce. It had been the only room besides the foyer with ceilings high enough to build in a trapeze. And who the hell needed more than one ballroom anyway?

"Hey Dick!" Stephanie shouted up towards the man hanging from said trapeze.

Dick turned his head to look at Steph and started grinning. He climbed up to sit upright on the trapeze. "I was hoping you'd come! I'll do whatever you want if you can make Cass give back my favorite hoodie."

Steph shifted her weight and furrowed her brows. "Ooookay?"

"I talked to Dami and Jay," Dick shrugged.

Well, she supposed that made sense, even if Steph didn't actually enjoy being the gossip of choice at the moment. "Ah. OK." Steph nodded. She crossed her arms and held eye contact with Dick. "Take your box of shit home, it's bugging Alfie."

"No problem." Dick shouted back and flipped from the trapeze bar only to catch it with his hands and start swinging.

Steph turned to leave again calling over her shoulder. "I'll see you at lunch! Alfred says twenty minutes."

"Steph!" Dick shouted after her. He looked at her a little embarrassed when she turned back around. "One problem. I'm here on my bike."

"There are at least a dozen cars in the garage. Pick one." Stephanie shrugged and strode out the door.

 

-

 

Steph didn't need to search long to find Cass. She was sitting on the roof, enjoying the sun's warmth, but still wearing Dick's hoodie against the early spring breeze. The blonde climbed up to join her friend in the sun. The roof would be one of the most used places of the Manor if Alfred wouldn't look as disapproving at them every time he caught them out here. Cass opened her eyes when she heard Stephanie approach and smiled at her. They sat in silence for a few minutes letting the sun soak into their clothes and skin.

"Hey Cass?" Steph asked. "Can you give back Dick's hoodie?"

Cass knit her eyebrows and pouted. She pulled the hoodie over her knees and hugged them to her chest.

Stephanie rolled her eyes with an exaggerated motion of her head. "Short term. I need him to do something and that's his price." She grinned impishly at Cass. "I'll even help you steal it back next week."

Cass laid her head on her knees, bit her lip. She considered Steph's offer, turned back to Steph and nodded.

Steph squealed, throwing herself at Cass and hugging the life out of her. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you! You're the best," she said kissing Cass' cheek.

Cass only shrugged. A lot of people thought she was the preferable Wayne at any given moment. Especially her brothers. Their internal family feuds had never really extended to her.

The girls only had a few minutes left until lunch, so Steph and Cass climbed back into the Manor and made their way to the dining room. They caught up to Dick just outside the dining room.

"Dick," Cass said softly. She walked up to him as he turned around. Cass stripped the hoodie off and handed it to her brother. She proceeded to go attend lunch in just a sports bra. Bruce, who had just turned the corner looked very confused.

Dick hugged the hoodie to his chest with a gleeful expression. He caught Steph's eye and nodded. She kept up her part of the deal, he would keep up his.

"Yes!" Steph exclaimed, jumping with joy. "Oh, Timbers!" She sing-songed as she walked into the dining room to claim her prize. She was gonna look fabulous at the concert.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you had fun!
> 
> Tell me what concert you think Jason and Bruce are both going to (I know my pick, but I'm curious)
> 
> Vistit me on [tumblr](https://batkidsaremadkids.tumblr.com)


End file.
